Divorce mediation is a popular choice for many couples. Even when couples recognize that their marriages are beyond repair, they often prefer to minimize conflict during the divorce process. Mediation offers a more peaceful way to navigate divorce. It involves working collaboratively to resolve disagreements related to financial matters and child custody.

In mediation, spouses create critical agreements that outline the specifics of their divorces. By collaborating, they can minimize conflict and maintain a more amicable relationship. This is especially important for parents who need to continue interacting after a divorce for the sake of their children. Mediation can be a far better alternative to a litigated divorce, as it allows parents to have greater control over the final terms. This approach can also help prevent further damage to their relationship, which can negatively impact their children in the long run.

Effective preparation is essential for success in mediation. So how can you best navigate the situation?

First: Recognize that mediation is not right for every couple, and understand your own situation.

There are several situations in which mediation may not be the best option. In cases involving domestic violence, including emotional abuse, the dynamic between spouses can make it very difficult to achieve a fair outcome.

If one spouse is manipulative and charismatic, mediation may not be the most suitable option. Additionally, individuals who have genuine concerns about their spouse potentially hiding assets from them or the courts should think twice about mediation, as it does not provide the protections offered by formal discovery during property division.

Second: Speak with your attorney and learn the law

Understanding how courts address litigated custody and property division can help set realistic goals for mediation. Ideally, we would recommend our clients prepare proposed parenting plans and property division settlements with their attorneys ahead of mediation.

This approach is ideal because it enables you to present realistic requests while maintaining a degree of flexibility. Compromising in certain areas can facilitate the negotiation of specific terms in other aspects of divorce mediation. The key there is to know in advance where you are and are not willing and able to compromise.

Those who understand how the state manages litigated divorces are in the best position to secure favorable terms in their upcoming divorce. Having unrealistic demands may set individuals up for failure during mediation.

It's important for individuals to review the fundamentals of mediation with an experienced legal team to ensure they present themselves effectively during mediation sessions. Ideally, people should have the opportunity to discuss their goals and concerns with their lawyers before attending divorce mediation, considering the significant stakes involved.

Third: Have a plan in place

While it is common for partners to sometimes ruffle each other's feathers in mediation, this is something you know in advance and you should do your best to remain calm and level headed. Discussing pain points with your attorney in advance can help us to prepare you to handle your partners objections and requests during mediation, keeping you focused on your non-negotiables and giving you a guideline on keeping the mediation effective.

The last thing we want is for money to be wasted on ineffective mediation. When dealing with particularly toxic or brash individuals, it is often advised that the client allow the attorney to do the talking. This means communicating your needs and goals with clarity with your attorney, allowing us to speak confidently on your behalf. If the situation is particularly contentious, we may ask the mediator to keep you both in separate rooms to minimize contact, or if you Zoom, you’ll be kept in separate break-out rooms. Our goal is to get you what you want and reduce the stress and drama of getting there.

Why is Legal Guidance so important for mediation?

Family law cases are deeply personal and fact-specific. Whether you choose to proceed with mediation, or skip it and simply litigate your divorce before the court, our experienced attorneys can ensure that your legal rights are protected.