Divorce is rarely pleasant, but it is possible to part ways on amicable terms. Our divorce lawyers have successfully assisted many couples who still hold each other in high regard, even though they no longer wish to remain in the relationship.

Having an attorney can provide numerous benefits, even if both parties are generally in agreement about the divorce. It’s important to note that hiring an attorney is not a legal requirement for obtaining a divorce. In fact, if there’s a situation where one might go without legal representation, it would likely be a friendly uncoupling — ideally involving a younger couple with a short marriage, no children to consider, and minimal shared property. However, even in such cases, a do-it-yourself divorce can present various pitfalls.

It's important to remember that, despite the romantic notions surrounding marriage, it is fundamentally a legal contract. Divorce doesn't have to be contentious; however, separating yourself from this legal agreement can have implications for both your current situation and your long-term future. Having a lawyer for each party doesn't necessarily mean you are preparing for a fight. In fact, it can facilitate a smoother process, as both of you can ensure that your rights and financial interests are protected. This way, there are no surprises, and neither party ends up shortchanged.

On the plus side, the more aspects you agree on, the less time and money your divorce will cost you upfront if you choose to process your divorce independently. However, investing a bit more in the services of a divorce attorney can ultimately save you a lot of headaches in the long run. It is much easier to include specific details in the divorce agreement before it is finalized; trying to modify it afterward can take a long time and usually requires proof of a significant change in circumstances. It’s always better to take the time to get it right the first time.

Even if you plan to manage most of the process on your own, we recommend consulting with a divorce lawyer at least twice: once at the beginning of the process and again before finalizing it. Here’s why: 

• Do you truly agree on everything? Maybe, but there may be important factors you haven't fully considered, or even debts and assets you weren't aware of. Have you discussed whether one or both of you should take out life insurance policies to cover child support in the event of your death? If you've agreed on the amount of child support, have you decided when it should be paid and what to do if someone is late on payments? Who will handle the costs of extracurricular activities for your children? What about college expenses? What will happen to the pets? What happens if either parent needs to relocate for work? How will children spend time with extended family? How will you address the retirement benefits you are entitled to through equitable distribution? Do you know how to have a pension divided? Do you know exactly what you or your spouse may be entitled to?

Often, when couples sit down with a divorce lawyer or mediator, they realize they haven't fully thought through all the details that need to be addressed when separating their lives legally. The bottom line is that even if you believe you agree on everything, there may still be some important loose ends to tie up.

• A lawyer is able to draft the agreement properly. Reaching an agreement is one thing; ensuring that it is accurately drafted into a legally enforceable document is another matter entirely. While you technically could handle this process on your own—much like you could attempt to repair your own broken arm or fill your own cavity—it's generally not advisable. Our attorneys are knowledgeable and experienced in legal writing and analysis, and they can help ensure that your documents are properly drafted and enforceable.

• You'll have the reassurance of knowing that the paperwork has been properly filed. Filing paperwork with the clerk of courts might seem simple, but many motions and filings are often dismissed due to failure to adhere to procedural requirements. It is essential to have the correct documents for your specific situation. These documents must be filled out correctly, adequately supported, submitted to the appropriate office, and filed in a timely manner.

Additionally, some documents submitted early in the case, such as the Case Information Statement, are crucial for the Family Court's future decision-making regarding your case. If disagreements arise later, the contents of your Case Information Statement can significantly influence how contested issues are resolved. Modifying that statement after it has been filed can lead to increased scrutiny. Therefore, it is best to ensure it is thoroughly prepared the first time by having an attorney assist you.

Furthermore, there are multiple ways to approach divorce, and it doesn't have to be an adversarial process. Mediation is one of the most popular methods. It is more collaborative than litigation and allows both parties to have more control over the outcome, rather than fighting it out in court where a judge makes the final decision.

In a mediation process, you might choose to split the cost of a mediator to work out the details. Then, you would only need to hire separate lawyers to review the divorce agreement before signing it. This approach helps minimize both costs and conflict while ensuring that important details are not overlooked.

Our firm has noticed that many couples come to us after completing their divorces independently, only to find that certain important issues were overlooked or not addressed. Resolving these issues after the divorce can be much more challenging than discussing them together during the divorce process.

Even if you and your spouse have created your own agreement, we always recommend having an attorney review it. This can help identify any gaps or issues that need attention, clarify any confusing language, and ensure that the agreement is legally enforceable and compliant with New Jersey law.