Let’s be real: In today’s world, tons of people divorce and get remarried. And these marriages may include additions to the family, including step parents and step siblings. Sometimes, a step parent will want to adopt their step child. So let’s talk about what that process looks like.

First. Is this allowed? Yes. And it is more common than you think. For starters, step parents do not have many parental rights, so wanting to adopt a step child can be important when it comes to educational, religious, or health related decisions. 

Second. Do I need the consent of both parents? Yes and no. 

In most cases, yes, both biological/legal parents of the child have to give consent to the adoption, unless the court decides that the other parent’s consent isn’t legally required. The court is going to look at factors such as whether the non-custodial parent is named on the birth certificate, whether the non-custodial parent has taken physical, emotional, and financial responsibility for the child, whether the child has any relationship with the non-custodial parent, etc. The court will also look at the fitness of the non-custodial parent. If the child is 10 (ten) years old or older, they have to give their consent to the adoption and be present at the hearing. 

What can be tricky is that for a stepparent to adopt, the non-custodial parent has to have their parental rights legally terminated, meaning they either have to give permission for that or the court has to find them unfit and terminate their rights. The court will usually only terminate their rights in cases of proven abuse, neglect.

Third. So, let’s assume the non-custodial parent is on-board. What do you do? The first thing you do is hire an experienced Family Law Attorney to help with the adoption process. There will likely be a background check and fingerprinting process, as well as a “home visit” where an adoption professional will tour your home, interview family members, and review safety procedures. The parent who is giving up their rights will need to complete a Voluntary Surrender form communicating that this is what they truly want to do, and they understand that the process is irreversible.

If the non-custodial parent is not on board with giving up their parental rights, and there has been no abuse or neglect, you can petition the court to terminate a non-custodial parent’s parental rights but you will have to show that it is in the child’s best interests. The court will consider whether that parent has or has attempted to have a relationship with the child, whether that parent pays child support, if they abandoned the other parent shortly after birth or during pregnancy, whether they are a danger to the child’s well-being, and more. A TPR hearing (Termination of Parental Rights Hearing) can be a difficult and emotional process for many involved. It’s important to know that TPR is permanent and the parent will not be able to get their children back after the process is complete. 

Fourth. After the other parent’s rights have been terminated, the stepparent has cleared a background check and home visit, and has been determined to be a fit parent, then they will have an adoption hearing. When that is complete, the law will view the stepparent/adoptive parent as the biological and legal parent of the child, no different than if they had birthed the child themselves.